The beginning of happiness in any life is in the home and family. If we aren’t successful with our wives, husbands, and children, we have failed. Nobody else will pay us much attention--except negatively-- unless we prove ourselves right here.

You know, it isn’t easy to build a great family. It takes more than carpentry, plumbing, and other building skills. Those tasks are simple compared to husbanding and wifing (two new words), not to speak of parenting. I've not always been perfect, but my family has always been so patient and forgiving.

It’s very important for you to remember that building your marriage is the first responsibility. Selflessness is probably the first and the last word in a happy marriage. If you don’t learn to make your spouse happy instead of just seeking satisfaction, you are bound to fail. That’s a tough one for all of us. It’s where we decide between being a successful family or just another a statistic.

Take time for each other. Those moments when you stop just to express love, to touch, to say you care, are so important. You simply can’t make it without this. It isn’t how much time you spend, but how much quality attention you give each day. A marriage is two persons who have been joined into one, not by an instant miracle, but in hope of a daily one. That loving touch, the “I cares”, create those needed daily miracles.

It’s so important that you never put down or demean one another. Most of us have all the inferior feelings we can handle without our closest friend magnifying them. Nothing hurts like a marriage partner pointing critically to our weaknesses. Self-love is so important and no one can strengthen it like a wife or a husband. Look for each other’s strengths and possibilities, and build pillars under them. Be each other’s encouragement. Compliment every good thing you see in the other.

Children are a welcome addition but must never occupy center stage. That destroys them and you. The home is built under Christ, on the Word, and around the love of two persons, husband and wife. The children must be influenced by the family life, not put in control of it. They will be secure and happy only if the home provides direction, sets boundaries, meets needs—not just physical ones—and encloses all of this with real love. You and your husband or wife must remain centered to one another and draw them around you in understanding and family togetherness. That's a Home, not just a house.